Pet Yukkuri
by ForgottenUmbrella
Summary: A bunch of yukkuri wander into the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Nothing much more to say, really. Someone say if the categories and stuff are correct, please.


Yay. First try at a yukkuri story and third try and a certain pairing. (Ugh, cannot write romance to save my life. I keep stopping halfway to lie on my bed and laugh.) They got into the SDM waaaay too conveniently. In my dictionary, "Yukkuri" is plural.

* * *

"Patchouli-san, Yu-Patchy is going to go and visit Yu-Remi, okay?"

Patchouli looked at the blob on the floor. The blob was also her pet yukkuri, which had wandered in to the Scarlet Devil Mansion together with the rest of said building's inhabitants; in yukkuri form, of course. Under normal circumstances, Meiling would have turned them away, but she was overtaken by the cuteness of the yukkuri, especially the one that resembled her when she was very young. She took them to Remilia and asked if she could keep them, since they seemed to like their mansion. Remilia told her that everyone would keep (an eye on) their own respective ones, to spread out the responsibility and prevent unnoticed breeding; a bunch (is that even the correct collective noun?) of koyukkuri suddenly appearing was not one of the things she wanted to see.

As a result, the Scarlet Devil Mansion now had a total of six yukkuri under the care of their respective owners, and it would be incorrect to say that they were useless. In fact, Meiling had been guarding the gate more diligently, possibly due to her being afraid that her yukkuri self would run away or attempt to reach for a rainbow in the sky while she was not looking. The few visitors that they received would see two figures guarding the gate, while they observe would what appeared to be Sakuya's head attempting to mop the floor (somehow) inside. The library also had two pairs of servants with a pair of bat wings on their heads to two equally sickly purple-haired girls... Make that one girl and one head.

They tended to follow their owners in pretty much everything, so Yu-Remilia would call for tea the way Remilia did, and Yu-Sakuya would arrive rather quickly the way the real Sakuya did. Due to yukkuri having weakened versions of their owners' abilities and most of their traits, they required much training to be able to fight and hurt humans. Meiling had to train her pet to watch the gate and even attempted to teach it a few moves to help defend it, because although no one in their right mind would _eat_ a Yu-Meiling, everyone would be perfectly fine to _attack_ it. Eventually, it was able to speak semi-coherently and could fire a wall of rainbow-coloured bullets. They even followed their owners' food choices (although Flandre did not actually have much of a choice).

"Oh, you want to go visit Yu-Remi? Shall I come with you?" Patchouli asked her yukkuri self.

"No need, mukyu. Yu-Patchy is just visiting. No need to worry."

With that, Yu-Patchouli bounced out of the library and into the hall. Due to the delicacy of yukkuri, everyone was careful to watch where they were walking lest they step on a poor creature.

When it reached Remilia's room a while later, it tried to knock on the door. Being a bodiless yukkuri, this was impossible.

"_Patchouli-san told me to knock, but how?" _it asked itself in an unusual display of intelligence.

Several minutes later, Remilia noticed her door vibrating slightly. She shut the little book she had been scribbling in and opened the door.

"Yu-Patchy! You threw yourself against the door again, didn't you? I already told you that it isn't necessary. Just ask someone to do it for you," she said, scooping the yukkuri into her arms and petting it gently before putting it on her bed, next to Yu-Remilia.

"_I almost wish I could do this with Patchy..."_

She then left the yukkuri to their devices as she continued to write in her brown, tea-stained pocketbook.

"Hey, Yu-Patchy," Yu-Remilia whispered to her friend. "Want to read what Remilia is writing in that little book of hers?"

"Yeah, but you can't read. Well, not properly anyway."

"Ouch. Yu-Remi saw that she had some older ones, Yu-Remi could bring them here, and then you could read them out loud."

"No, that's infringement of personal space. (Is Yu-Patchy even using this phrase correctly...)"

"What does that mean?"

"Yu-Patchy learnt new words from my owner, mukyu. It means that we're reading something that only Remilia-san should know about. (...Or explaining it correctly?)"

"What should we do then?"

"Talk, I guess," Yu-Patchouli responded. "I always wanted to have a family of my own, mukyu. Koyukkuri are so cute from what Patchouli-san has shown Yu-Patchy! Hey, Yu-Patchy used a first-person pronoun!"

Yu-Remilia metaphorically facepalmed. "Yu... Take it easy, Yu-Patchy. Yu-Remi can be your family if you want."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"SERIOUSLY, REMILIA SCARLET. You said to keep an eye on them. You were supposed to keep a bloody eye on them, and now... now..."

"Now what?"

"Yu-Patchy has a stalk growing out of it. You know what this means, right?"

"It's going to have a couple of children."

"A couple? The stalk is as big as my yukkuri itself, which means there has to be at least four of them, and they need a soft place to land on or they'll DIE."

Remilia had to force down a smile. "I'll help you take care of them. It's mostly my fault anyway."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Remilia's bed was about as soft as it could get in the Scarlet Devil Mansion. She placed Yu-Patchy on it and waited for the koyukkuri to start dropping off. Although the rest of the inhabitants would have loved to watch, Patchouli was afraid that the presence of such a large number of people would scare it, and had to shoo them away by promising that they could see the koyukkuri after they were born.

Yu-Remilia hovered above the bed, happily singing about how cute their children were going to be. For once, nobody told it to shut up, since it pretty much had the right to be happy about such an occasion.

After what seemed like a long time, the koyukkuri finally began to drop off the stalk, one by one. First, a Ko-Remilia tumbled onto the bed, happily exclaiming that "Remiriya hash been born eajy!" It was soon followed by two Yu-Patchoulis and another Yu-Remilia, all of which bounced around on the bed but had the sense not to jump off.

Yu-Remilia landed on the bed to round up the koyukkuri, seeing that her partner was too tired to do anything.

"Come, babies. Stay close to your parents," it said.

They rubbed affectionately against both parents, addressing the Yu-Patchouli as their mother as the stalk that they had grown on was on it. Speaking of the stalk, it had fallen off and was being eaten by the koyukkuri.

"Aren't they cute, Remi?" Patchouli asked as she attempted to pick up the oldest koyukkuri. Yu-Remilia was rather wary of her at first, as yukkuri are rather protective over their children, but eventually allowed her to touch it. She placed it in her arms and rocked it very slowly and gently, like how a mother rocks her baby to sleep. After several minutes, it fell asleep, and so did Patchouli. Remilia continued observing the yukkuri and her sleeping friend, noting that they seemed to enjoy bouncing on Patchouli's rather sizable chest, especially the koyukkuri. Somehow, the impact did not wake her up at all.

Remilia sat down next to Patchouli, after making sure that there were no more yukkuri using Patchouli as a trampoline, whispered softly to her, "I wonder if our children would be as cute."

* * *

More like Yu-Remilia and Yu-Patchouli, seriously. I totally fail at writing anything mildly romantic, because I ain't got no life experience. -shot- Actually this probably does not even count as Romance, so under Friendship it shall go.

My current OTP... in yukkuri form. There is a serious lack of RemiPache stories, as well as very few yukkuri stories.

Thank you for reading!


End file.
